Andy: First of all, you did the right thing by hiding underneath this table.

Leslie: From my office - I have like 50 of them.

Ben: Why are you laughing?
Leslie: Because my dream is dead.

Leslie: Your ambiguous ethnic blend perfectly represents the dream of
the American melting pot.

Andy: I'll tell you what honey, here's the deal -- you get fired, I'll
quit too. I'm serious. We'll move to a new city, burn our fingertips
off with acid, swap faces...
April: What?
Andy: If we have to.

Ron: Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets. 

Ben: Where did you get a Washington Monument figurine at midnight on a Tuesday?

Gwen: This question comes from Twitter, because apparently that's something which happens now. 

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

Leslie: Nothing gets me more amped than Sarah Machlachlan.