Ann: Just put your dang candy out!

[Leslie eyes are closed]
Leslie: Don't touch my pickles Ann!

Donna: So, I made my desk out of silver M&Ms, but they do not make silver M&Ms so I spray painted them.
Ann: Okay, so those are poisonous, so no one eat them.
Andy: Yeah, duh!
Ann: Go throw up.
Andy: I didn't eat any.
Ann: Go throw up.

Leslie: My pleasure. See you in hell!

Barney: Welcome, Mr. Saperstein.
Jean-Ralphio: Thanks so much!
Barney: I will just show you to your cubicle.
Jean-Ralphio: I can't wait. I bet it's a big one, huh Barney?
Barney: The temp agency said that you are fluent in QuickBooks Pro, correct?
Jean-Ralphio: Oh right yeah, we should cover that. Y'see, my resume might not actually be accurate, right? So I have no idea what you're talking about. Don't know what QuickBooks are.
Barney: You don't have any accounting experience?
Jean-Ralphio: No, no, no, Barney, c'mon. But you don't have to be an accountant to know that this girl is a 10. Yo, what up, Diaz? Come here often?
Woman: To my job?
Jean-Ralphio: Oh, sharp mouth on her also. Shut it.
Barney: You're fired!
Jean-Ralphio: That makes sense. So I just go out the same way I came in?

Ron: Ben and a much larger Ann. She definitely loves Ann.
Ann: Awwwww.

Leslie: My God Diana, will you stop it with the letter writing campaign.

Chris: And then my herbalist took this weird bee pollen paste, rubbed it around my gums, and now my mouth feels like a spaceship.

Ron: [about computer] So it learns information about me?

{cut to Ron throwing the computer in the trash}

Leslie: You were very fair. In fact, I'm the one who needs to apologize. I got you involved in PCP, but I'm starting a new group now, LSD - Leslie's Sorry Division - and I just wanted to say I'm sorry Chris.